Thing 1: The Tale of the Ill-Fated Cake Ball
A few weeks ago, my friends and I had a cake ball making night. My friend Ashley hosted it. She was showing me the cake balls which she had pre-rolled for us to decorate. In a flurry of excitement, she told me about the gluten-free cake balls and the vanilla cake balls at the same time. I got confused. And I ate a whole cake ball. A whole glutened cake ball.
Now let me explain something to you – I am really gluten intolerant. It is not a lifestyle choice, a fad or a psychosomatic thing. Here are my reactions:
- A few crumbs or cross-contamination – acne-like rash on face for about a month.
- 1/8 a teaspoon of a gluten-containing ingredient – Vomiting for four hours.
- Any more than that – A week of vomiting/other unfun stuff that I will not write about on this blog, ever.
This cake ball contained more gluten than I’ve ingested cumulatively in past six-and-a-half years. Thankfully, I realized that I ate the wrong cake ball within just a few minutes. When the discovery was made, my friends and I all looked at each other, all wondering what I should do, and all of us knowing what had to be done.
So I excused myself, went to the bathroom, turned on the loud vent fan, and gagged myself until I puked. I did it twice, you know, just to be sure.
It felt just like the after-school special I once watched on bulimia. (The very after school special that taught me how to gag myself). There I was, hunched over the toilet, turning on the fan to dull the noise, sticking my fingers down my throat. Yes, I decided, I was a cautionary tale. Only mine was about eating a cake ball, not a life-threatening eating disorder.
In my moment of desperation and melodrama, all I could hear in my head was the Jessie Spano I’m So Excited freak-out song she sings after becoming “addicted to caffeine pills”. Yes, children of the 80’s, you all know what I’m talking about. She screams “I’m so excited, I’m so excited.” And then falling to a heap of tears and early-90’s fashion, she’s caught by Zach Morris, and finally she lets out, “I’m so, I’m so SCARED.”
So I was glutened, and then I was throwing up, and then I was laughing to myself about Saved By the Bell. But somewhere in there, it worked. I didn’t have even the smallest reaction. I was very proud of my mental fortitude.
BTW – bulimia isn’t funny, and if it’s something you struggle with, please find someone to talk to.
Thing 2: Christmas Blog Series!
Get excited because my first guest blog series starts tomorrow! During the month of November and a bit of December, I will be hosting guest blogs every Tuesday and Thursday. I’ve asked friends from all stages of life, from all around the world, and with diverse tastes, to suggest ten Christmas present ideas. My guest bloggers are men, women, young moms, hip grandmas. Some are stay at home moms, some have Ph.D.s. They hail from Oklahoma, Colorado, Texas, Massachusets, Australia and England. Some shop at Pottery Barn and others make their own gifts.
As the guest posts have rolled in over the past week, I have been so inspired by everyone’s amazing gift ideas, and I know you will be too! So tune in every Tuesday and Thursday.
Make sure to follow my blog by clicking the follow button on the right hand column so that you don’t miss a single Christmas list!