Confessions of a Blonde

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I thought I’d compile a list of the stupidest things I’ve ever said. This is, of course, a condensed list. I’ve said way more stupid stuff than this.

I have blonde hair. I can’t help the ditzy things that sometimes escape my lips.

It’s not my fault, really.

1. Talking to a friend about music. (Disclaimer, this happened like 10 years ago).

Me: What kind of music do you like?

Tim (shaggy hair, hipster says coolly): I’m into indie music.

Me: No way! I love Bollywood music! Have you seen Bride and Prejudice!

I start this little Bollywood dance with my hands and he looks at me like I’m certifiable.

For those who don’t know, indie music is independent music. Not Indian music like I thought.

2. Seeing a guy at school with the College shirt John Belushi wears on Animal House: (Disclaimer, I was in high school, so this was a loooooong time ago).

Me: I need one of those shirts. Were you just tired of everyone asking you where you were going to college, so you just got a shirt that says college? Where’d you get it? I’m tired of people asking about that, too. Now people will just know that I am going to college. Somewhere.

Guy: Just looks at me, partly amused and partly dumbfounded. Probably decides any number of things about me from my naivete, my basic lack of pop culture and social skills to my basic intelligence for not knowing about that iconic shirt.

Then he walked off.

Then I went to find my own College shirt. 

Then I found out about the movie. Oops.

3. Trying on an outfit to wear for an evening on the town, while living in New Zealand.

Paula (my host mum): That shirt looks smart.

Me: I’ve never really thought about this sweater making me look smart. (Now really excited.) But, I’ll put on my glasses and then I’ll look even smarter!

I go and put on my glasses to show my super smart look.

Paula: No, smart as in dressed up nicely.

Me: Oh.

So as you can see, not only do I say stupid things, but I commit. It’s sort of a problem.

Please tell me I’m not alone!

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